9/11

 

9/11/2001

 Today I decided to write not about my ancestor's stories but about my memory of 9/11. One way to never forget is for us to write down our memories.  I wasn't there but it is a historical event that I will never forget. My grandchildren were just babies and do not have their own memories of that day.  But everyone who was old enough to have memories of it, remember exactly where they were and how they heard about it.

 As I drove to work that morning, I wasn't paying much attention to the radio until I heard that a plane had crashed into a building.  I didn't hear where or exactly when though I learned minutes later that the first plane had just hit the twin towers.  Before we could pull out the large program TV at work, the second airplane had hit. For awhile we had the TV pulled out into the public area of the library, but as the day went on we realized that parents were bringing their children to the library to get them away from their TVs at home.  We pulled the TV back into a work area and left it there for the next couple of days, turning it on and off depending on our state of mind.

 When we heard that a plane had hit the Pentagon, I realized that two of my nieces and a nephew's father worked at the Pentagon.  I called my sister to find out if she had heard from her children and if she had any news about her ex-husband.  It took most of the day for her to find out that he was on the opposite side of the Pentagon and was okay.

 My supervisor had family in New York.  Her uncle worked on Manhattan Island near the Twin Towers. It took him almost 24 hours to make the normally one hour trip to get home.  The ferries were full and he had to walk across a bridge where he eventually found a ferry to take him home. Her aunt could not reach him by phone as the phone service was in chaos. However, eventually she was able to talk to both her uncle and aunt. They could both talk to her in Dallas but could not talk to each other.  She relayed messages between them the entire time he was trying to get home. She was also able to keep other family members updated on how the family in New York was doing.

 It seemed that we were all in shock for days wondering if something else was going to happen and in disbelief that such an horrendous act had happened in America.  It seemed that despite the Oklahoma bombing by an American only 6 years earlier, we only then really understood what it meant to know terrorism could happen here.

Education Transforms Generations

 

52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks: Week 37
Back to School
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I've written about my Grandpa before because he was a huge influence in our family. According to the 1940 census, he only completed the 8th grade which wasn't unusual in the 1910s when he would have been going to school.  What was unusual was his attitude toward education.

 Grandpa was adamant that all of his children get an education, even the girls. It was unusual for a father to allow his girls to go to college back then much less demand it. He worked hard to make sure that they all went to either college or business school for at least one year before they got married. His son went on to get not only a college degree at East Central University, but also studied at Notre Dame and earned a Master's degree at the Carnegie Institute as a mathematician.  Two daughters went to college for a year before dropping out to get married with one of them finishing her degree after her children were grown.

The youngest two daughters went to business school which was an excellent choice as both married men who owned their own businesses. They were partners in the businesses and played a key part in their success.

 I have wondered if Central High school being so close played a part in his decision to buy the farm nearby. But when his oldest daughter was a freshman in high school, he saw some kids making out in the back of the school bus. He decided then that it wasn't the place for her to go to school so she went to live with his parents and go to school in town. Ironically, that is where she met her future husband, though they didn't get married until after she finished that first year of college.

Grandpa's attitude about education affected not only his children but also his grandchildren and great-grandchildren as many of them earned college  degrees in various fields. He probably didn't think he had much influence when he talked to the grandchildren about going to college for at least one year, but he did. Some of those grandchildren who didn't seem to listen, went onto get degrees later in life. Education really does transform lives.

Life on the Farm: Gladys & Thomas Osa McCarley

 

52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks: Week 36

Prompt: Labor
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Life on the Farm

Labor Day became a federal holiday in 1894. It was created to honor the American labor movement and the works and contributions of laborers. It seems only right to talk about the laborers in our family this weekend.  Most of the members of my family were farmers, so while there doesn't seem to be much to write about, they fed their families, often sold their produce to others, moving when they needed to move.

My Grandpa McCarley was one of those men. He worked hard and moved from being a tenant farmer to owning his own land and farming for himself. Before and after owning his own land, he worked on the railroad and in the oil field, made pies in a restaurant, and other jobs. Eventually, he bought some land between Marlow and Lawton, Oklahoma very near Central High School. A  small community built up around the school and many years later incorporated as a town named Central High.  When Grandpa bought the land there was a small tank that rarely went dry for the few horses and cows. The tank was the center of many of the adventures and happenings on the farm.

Grandpa had a gift that he may have inherited from his Father which manifested in several ways. One way was that Grandpa was a water witcher.  He often helped neighbors and others in the area to find water on their land, but no matter how many times he walked his own land he wasn't able to find water.  The water for the tank must have come from very deep underground. There was a well on the far north east corner of the land, far from the house, but there were never lines laid to bring water to the house. Grandpa dug several wells around the house but they were dry. His gift that helped so many others was not able to find the water they needed near the house.

 All of the children worked on the farm. They helped with hauling water, branding, hoeing, picking cotton, feeding the chickens, and cows and all the other chores that had to be done to keep a farm afloat. Everyone developed a strong work ethic, whether they worked outside or inside the home making sure that there were good meals, clean clothes, and a comfortable place to sleep.

When we moved out into the country, the one thing my mother refused to have on our one acre "farm" was chickens.  One of my mother's jobs growing up was feeding the chickens and gathering eggs. She hated the chickens, having been chased many times.  Another favorite job was milking the cows. The evening milking came at just the wrong time when she was dating. She couldn't milk the cows before she got ready for a date because that was too early and if she waited until after milking the cows, then her date would get there before she was ready. I'm sure it was a pretty picture to watch her pick her way across the barnyard to milk the cows in her old boots and party dress tucked up out of the muck. Then hurrying back to finish getting ready.

When she was younger, most Saturdays the family would load up and go into town. They would go to the store if they needed flour or other types of supplies and visit family that lived in town. They didn't get treats very often, because Grandpa said there wasn't money for foolishness. One Saturday, the billboards at the theatre got his attention and he decided a special treat was in order for everyone.  During that time, the movies were shorter and would end in a cliff hanger. The cowboy hero would be hanging off a literal cliff or maybe was headed into an ambush. It was always very exciting. The next Saturday, the movie would take up where the last one finished. For many Saturdays after that, they would go to the movies every Saturday.  It was a welcome break from the farm labor. 

 Gladys and Thomas Osa McCarley  

One of my favorite pictures of my Grandparents.

Finding our Native American Ancestor

 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks: Week 35

Aug 26th-Sept 1st
#52ancestors
Prompt: Unforgettable

The most unforgettable thing happened in the National Archives in Fort Worth.  This was before the new building and the research room was small, dark, and cramped. It was lined with microfilm machines and cabinets of microfilm.  All of the previous times that I had been there, I spent hours searching microfilm.

 Before I arrived on this particular day, I had used PERSI to request a copy of an article from a genealogical society journal. The article talked about a Indian court case and mentioned my 2nd Great Grandfather and Great Grandfather McCarley.  My Grandmother had told me that we had Cherokee blood, but I was rather skeptical.  This was the first time that I found anything that might support her statement.

 I dutifully searched the Dawes rolls on microfilm to find the McCarley file. I didn't find it in the Cherokee Rolls, but in the Chickasaw rolls.  It was there but it was stamped cancelled.  At the time, I didn't know that there were families that had applied for and received their membership in the tribes and were placed on the Dawes Roll that were cancelled later. 

 The McCarley/McDuffy file was not on microfilm. It was an actual file of papers, lots of papers. The archivist took me to another room that had several copiers and some big tables. One wall was a window where I could see staff members working and they could watch what I was doing. They brought out the file box and I begin to go through it. The more I read the more excited I got. There was an affidavit of marriage that I had been searching for over 20 years. Affidavits of birth from the time period before birth certificates were recorded. There were documents that detailed relatives that I had never found information on before. Many of the pages had original signatures and I touched each of them in awe, thinking of my ancestors who sat down to sign these papers.

 I went to the archives that day with about $3.00 in change because I rarely found more than a few pages that I needed to copy. But I needed every page of these files so that I could spend the time needed to get every detail. I even went out to my car and went thought the seats to find more change.  I was able to copy about 128 pages from the files, not every page but almost.

 It turns out that the McCarley family had applied for membership on the basis of Nancy McDuffie, wife of Mitchel Wilburn McCarley being the granddaughter of Nancy Frasier, a full blood Chickasaw. The U.S. Government gave them their membership card but 3 years later it went before the Chickasaw Council. They hired a lawyer and there were three witnesses. Two of the witnesses were white and testified that Nancy Fraiser was a full blood Chickasaw and these were her grandchildren. One witness was a full blood Chickasaw and he testified that she was a full blood Chickasaw from the Big House Clan, but these were not her grandchildren.  The council ruled to cancel their membership cards.  Personally, I feel like the attorney didn't do a great job of representing them, but the court case produced records that I would never have had otherwise.

 As I copied the pages, I slowly became aware that as people passed me, they were grinning at me. There was just too much excitement to be contained. I didn't realize that as I waited for each copy to exit the machine, I was doing a happy dance.

Mitchel Wilburn (Walter) McCarley (Sept 1846 - Jan 1916)
Nancy R McDuffie (McCarley) (1848 -14 Oct 1899)
Nancy Frasier (?)

Mitchel & Nancy McCarley lived in Indian Territory by 1898 in Love & Carter County.  Their family eventually moved to Stephens County, OK.

Myrtle Olive "Ollie" (Parker) Lamb

52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks: Week 34

#52ancestors
Chosen Family

 Years ago as I was beginning to research my Father's family, I found a census record from 1930 for my Grandmother as a child. It had a large number of children that were unfamiliar to me. My Grandmother was close to her siblings so I knew Uncle Yip, Uncle Hinney, Uncle Jeff, and others.   I had never heard of the children on this record. 

 I sat down with my Dad and he started laughing as he looked at the record. "This Earl is Uncle Yip,  this is Uncle Hinney, and Wilfred is Uncle Jeff.  He explained that the family often had nicknames that had nothing to do with their real name. There were other children with different last names to explain, too.  There was Taylor and Mowbray. Dad explained that his Grandparents took in some neighbor children whose parents had died. They adopted one of the children and raised the others as if they were their children.

 I looked for adoption records and guardianship records but there were none. It must have been a case of just taking the children to raise without benefit of any legal paperwork.

 Years went by and I became curious about them again, these extra children. I started researching to find their parents. I did eventually find that the Taylor children were my Great Grandmother's sister's children.  Her and her husband had died very close together. Despite having a large family already, they took her sister's children to raise. Since there was no legal paperwork and no original last name, it was many years later before I found any information about the fourth "adopted" child.

 After my Dad passed, my Mother and I searched for insurance papers, his will, and other paperwork that we needed. In a plain envelope mixed in with his important papers, I found the life story of my Great Grandmother. It held the information that I need for the search all those years.

 Titled "My Life Voyage",  Myrtle Olive Parker Lamb, told a heartbreaking story of devotion and dedication to her family and God.  This seems timely since we are once again in a pandemic.

  "Then in October [1918] when the flu was raging the Master came to me and said there is a Baby at Jefferson go get it and rear it for Me, or you will go to Hell. How I plead and made excuses but we must obey God rather than man, so lost a dear cousin and took her son, as she was called home to Heaven."

 When they took in Arthur, Leeland Henry Lamb and Myrtle Olive "Ollie" Parker Lamb already had 8 children living and one who was stillborn.  Then three  more children were added to their family.

  "Then lost our Dear Sister Nellie in July 1923 which left 3 Motherless children which God said to me as each time before, take the little babe. But, Oh, what a burden it seemed but I have always tried to obey the masters voice. Each of these little ones had as kind, patient, loving, self-sacrificing, and God fearing Mother as I ever saw. This sinful world was no place for them."

 Not only did I discover the background for the 4 "neighbor" children, I discovered the children were not chosen. Ollie Parker was chosen by God to raise these children.

My Life Voyage

Robert Johnston Golightley, troublemaker.

 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks: Week 33
#52ancestors
Prompt:  Troublemaker

Sometimes it seems as if our families hide information from us. Often it is because they don't think of it as important or they don't realize we would be interested.  Sometimes it is because they just don't want to talk about it.  This was a hard story for me to publish but it is common knowledge in our family and part of our history. 

When I was 14 years old and already interested in my family history, I overheard my Grandfather tell my Dad that Robert had died. When they realized that I was listening, they changed the subject.  Later, I asked my Dad who Robert was and he told me that Robert was his Grandfather.  I was upset that I had a Great Grandfather that had been alive and I didn't even know he existed. When I asked why we didn't know him, my Dad said he was a bad man and he didn't want him around us. At that time, he wouldn't tell me anything else, but  ever so often, I would ask a question about him and gradually over the years I learned more about him. 

Years later when I showed my Dad the documents from Robert being charged as incorrigible and being put into a "facility" as a teenager, my Dad only commented, "He started early, didn't he?"  The paperwork doesn't tell what he had done as a juvenile so we will probably never know. Everyone who might know was gone by that time. I do know that when he was 15 years old, Robert was listed in the census records twice, living with his parents and in a separate household with his aunt. I would like to think he was there to help her.

My mother told me about the time my Dad was about 12 years old and he "threw his grandfather off of their property".  His great grandmother, Robert's mother, who was old, feeble, and blind was living with them.  Robert came to the house demanding that she sign paperwork to give him the old home place and farm that had been in the family since the 1800s. I don't know that my Dad really understood what was going on but Robert made his Great Grandmother cry so Dad made him leave.  But Robert didn't give up, he came back and brought the "law" with him.  My Dad refused to let them in the house and eventually the "law" told Robert that he needed to leave. 

Robert didn't give up on getting the property but going through the deeds and other records at the courthouse told the story of how his brother, George, and grandchildren enforced Robert's Father's will. Although, Robert lived on the property and controlled it for awhile, he was never able to claim it as his and sell it.  Robert's Dad, John Golightley, willed the property to Robert's brother, George and to Robert's children, by passing Robert. The property is still in the family today. 

Robert was a veteran of the Spanish-American war and married again after his 1st wife, Myrtle Wilcox, died in 1933. He held a variety of jobs. In 1920, he was a boiler maker in the oil fields. On the 1930 census he owned a blacksmith shop.  In 1939, there were several articles in various newspapers in Kansas, describing him as a disabled and unemployed railroad man, who would be in town to paint street numbers on curbs.  Robert died in 1969 in Wellington, Sumner County, Kansas and was buried in Oxford, Kansas. 

Donald, Johnnie, Leeland, & Robert Golightley

Robert Johnston Golightley (5 Aug 1884 - 15 Feb 1969)

Aunt Kitty's Flour Sifter

52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks: Week 32
#52ancestors

Prompt: Small

Sometimes the smallest things can spark a family story.  Going through family pictures one day, I ran across a picture of Kitty Miranda Parker. In the most off hand way possible, my mother said, "oh that is Aunt Kitty. She is the one that I got my flour sifter from".  

Of course, I couldn't let that go. I already knew that Kitty Parker was Myrtle Olive Parker's sister. Ollie Parker was my Great Grandmother on my Dad's side. She was born on 18th of December 1873. I was surprised that my mom knew her. 

But she didn't really know her. My parents had not been married very long when Aunt Kitty died. My Mom went with her mother in law, Eva Golightley, to help clean out Kitty's home. As they cleaned the kitchen and packed things up, Eva came across a flour sifter and ask my Mom if she had one yet.  When Mom said no, Grandma Eva tossed it to her and said now you do. 

That flour sifter stayed in Mom's flour canister the rest of her life. My sisters and I used it when we were learning to bake.  It has a little rust and is beat up, but it holds a place of honor on a display shelf in my kitchen. 

My Great Grand Aunt
Kitty Miranda Parker (Oglesbay). (18 Dec 1873 - 1 Feb 1954)